GOLLY FUCKING GOSH WHAT A NICE DAY FOR SURFING!
my mum told me that a week before i was born she was having severe contractions and was sent to hospital and they were all ready for me to come out and even gave my her an epidural but then i ‘gave up’ all of a sudden until the following week and that is the story of how i procrastinated my own birth
when ur eating dinner at your friends house
and their parents start arguing
and you want to ask for the salt
but the salt is right in between their upcoming divorce
tweets to american airlines are so beautiful
i dialed 666 and it rang twice and then went to voicemail??? the devil fckin SAW that i was calling, decided i wasn’t worth his time, and hit decline???? wow. fuck a fake friend where ya real friends at…………….